When the magic continues and you can only surrender and go with the flow…
It’s not often that you could find me at a loss for words, and yet here we are. The new show is becoming a tapestry behind something beautiful and precious, and I am feeling incredibly grateful for this. Some readers will know, others can read between the lines.
This year really is something. I am the light, and the flower, and the blooming seed, and the wind that carries our hopes of spring.
Sometimes I don’t know what to think anymore. I’ve been going through levels of emotional intensity this week that I never knew existed and for all the answers I thought were clear, there is now a new fuzziness around everything.
I chose to live moments. To leave questions for later, intentionally, in an effort to curb my incessant overthinking. But good lord, even as I take in the joy and let it flow through my mind, I know in my heart that this is not going to last and that these answers are coming. And fuzzy as they are, I know what they will be.
So I enjoy the moment. Not oblivious, but mindful, creating a memory to cherish for years to come, when the game is long over, and to warm my heart when cold reality kicks in.
Take joy when you can. In whatever flavour. And savour it in the moment. Because it’s so fleeting, and you never know when the next time will be.
(Side note, since I realize it might sound like it is… This isn’t a post about sex. It’s about connection, and closeness, and emotional intimacy. And literal joy, not as a metaphor, but as a deep feeling of belonging.)
Some days are magical. Sometimes, it happens twice in a row, like last weekend.
Brunch, live baroque music, great weather… Walking around the city’s smaller and bigger streets, turning on a whim, paying no mind to the clock… Simply enjoying the company, enjoying the moment… Lots of hugs and linked arms and holding hands, deep conversations and silly jokes, warm coffees and cozy teas.
The love of beautiful friendships.
Yes, some days bring magic to your life. And it lifts you up like a leaf in the wind. Et la vie est belle.
Yesterday was a perfect beginning. If this is the vibe for the year, we’re gonna be cool, 2026. Keep that up. ♥️
What a year it’s been. I am filled with gratitude for what has been, and hope for what may come.
May 2026 build on these foundations of love, hope and purpose. For the first time since forever, I am looking forward to what’s next.
There’s this wonderful community called Vocal Core that I feel very lucky and grateful to be a part of, and we sing together and it’s utterly, emotionally beautiful.
And this weekend, we are doing our winter show, called [OAKFIRE]. I was part of it yesterday, however due to other commitments I am missing today’s performances. But I’m there in spirit with all these precious voices that warm my heart and nurture my soul.
This show hits deep for me, tackling loneliness, self-love, feelings of inadequacy, regaining your sense of self and rebuilding yourself, surrounded by community. So much of my life this year was shaped by love and chosen family. It has been a year of lows that gradually morphed into what I can say looking back was a very transformative and positive year. I approach 2026 with my heart full of gratitude, a mix of bittersweet memories that I look at fondly, and moments of powerful affirmation that I wouldn’t have dreamed of a year ago… and above all, hope renewed.
I am facing the new year head on, chin high, defiant and resolute.
I am facing the new year as a new me, born from the ashes of the old. I’m a fucking phoenix, spreading my once broken wings and ready to fly again.
We got this, fam.
Love xo
Chel.
Today, Mulan officially became part of the family. I’m so happy! She and Mochi are still a bit avoidant with each other but slow and steady is how the girls roll haha. And with me they’re both so chill and affectionate, like Mochi, Mulan adopted me immediately. I struck gold with these two.
It was my birthday yesterday. A day I typically don’t really approach with any special anticipation.
But yesterday became different.
Yesterday became a celebration of friendship, and love, and gratitude, beyond anything I could ever have expected. Yesterday was a reminder that I am surrounded by beautiful souls who love me, who say it aloud and show it, and it was wonderful and heartwarming and emotional.
Yesterday was a birthday that I will remember for years to come. A day that reminded me that I should listen to my wonderful chosen family, and welcome and embrace their love, instead of listening to my thoughts.
It was a reminder, not just of how people see me, but also of how I see and appreciate them back, and I made sure to tell them as such unequivocally.
I love my tribe. I’m illuminated by their light. Always. ♥️
Ups. Downs. Ebbs. Flows.
Moments in time
of joyful light and deep darkness.
But not once did I look back
And wish I hadn’t leaped.
I’m still grieving stillborn futures
That weren’t meant to be
But this morning I felt the warm sun on my face
And the fresh air in my lungs
And for a fleeting moment
I was grateful 🤍