[oakfire]

2025.12.14

There’s this wonderful community called Vocal Core that I feel very lucky and grateful to be a part of, and we sing together and it’s utterly, emotionally beautiful.

And this weekend, we are doing our winter show, called [OAKFIRE]. I was part of it yesterday, however due to other commitments I am missing today’s performances. But I’m there in spirit with all these precious voices that warm my heart and nurture my soul.

This show hits deep for me, tackling loneliness, self-love, feelings of inadequacy, regaining your sense of self and rebuilding yourself, surrounded by community. So much of my life this year was shaped by love and chosen family. It has been a year of lows that gradually morphed into what I can say looking back was a very transformative and positive year. I approach 2026 with my heart full of gratitude, a mix of bittersweet memories that I look at fondly, and moments of powerful affirmation that I wouldn’t have dreamed of a year ago… and above all, hope renewed.

I am facing the new year head on, chin high, defiant and resolute.

I am facing the new year as a new me, born from the ashes of the old. I’m a fucking phoenix, spreading my once broken wings and ready to fly again.

We got this, fam.

Love xo
Chel.

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forever home

2025.11.29

Today, Mulan officially became part of the family. I’m so happy! She and Mochi are still a bit avoidant with each other but slow and steady is how the girls roll haha. And with me they’re both so chill and affectionate, like Mochi, Mulan adopted me immediately. I struck gold with these two.

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it’s been a good run

2025.11.10

42 performances, 40 in the past 11 months alone, seven of them internationally in Lisbon and Edinburgh. And appearances at not one, but two Fringes, Edinburgh’s and Barcelona’s. What a ride.

It’s nice to leave on a high.

I’ll keep going to stand up shows of course, and I might (might) accept the occasional invite, but from now on, my next stage appearances will be more scarce and for other things. I love my Choir group, and my Musical Theater experience has been incredibly precious, and I will continue both going into 2026.

I’m so immensely grateful. I’m not ending up 2025 on as high a note as I might have hoped, but there has been undeniable progress, and it’s priceless.

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YTD

2025.09.26

Year To Date… As we near the start of the fourth quarter of 2025 and the anniversaries that go with it (transition, bday…), I’m looking back at 2025, and while it wasn’t great, it was definitely on the good side of things.

Q1 started with a bang that set expectations a teensy bit too high, but that bang also was a major catalyst in kickstarting a real journey towards the light. It was something so unexpected and out of left field, and the timing was bonkers… And while it was an isolated event, the sheer randomness of it helped me tremendously to start putting some of my pain behind.

Q2 was absolutely amazing. From the cruise in April, to theater classes, to a brief fling in June, I met a number of amazing new people and I am forever so grateful for choosing to step out of my comfort zone and be bolder and opening myself to new things. Several of these folk have become very, very dear friends, and I am immensely happy to have them in my life.

And even if it lasted only a month, it was a magical June. ♥️

Q3 went slightly downhill after that emotionally, I have to admit, but on the other hand, I went to Edinburgh to perform at Fringe, which again is bonkers for someone who started comedy barely over a year ago, and I traveled back to Asturias for a week mostly off the grid, and there were beautiful moments and opportunities to grow. And there’s something else going on since September that lightens my heart, but I can’t really talk about it just yet. Well, two things. Well, a few things. But it’s too early.

A hint: Q4 will be quite musically oriented. I plan to finish this year with a bang, remains to be seen if I will, but I can already tell, fingers crossed, that I will finish it in much better shape than last.

And really, that’s all I set out to do when I was sick like a dog on January 1st, thinking this year literally would have nowhere to go but up.

Stay shiny, loves.

xo
Chel

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foodies

2025.04.11

I went to a tinned foods tasting event last night and oh my god it was A-MA-ZING. Five stars, would do again, and I’m not even a seafood person.

There is, even from me, a bit of a bias regarding tinned foods, and it disappeared completely after this. Everything was so delicious, from the ceviche above, to the sardines with mozzarella in tomato sauce, or the mussels in a thai-style yellow curry sauce.

As I said, I’m not a seafood person, especially shellfish (the hard ones, mussels, clams, scallops etc.) and yet this was like no shellfish I’ve eaten before. I expected, coming in, to not really like one or two of these at a minimum. But there was none of that. I would have happily had seconds of every single dish offered, and there were 13 of them! (including two desserts)

I’ll definitely repeat the experience, and next time I’ll work harder on convincing my friends to join me.

If you’re in Barcelona and want to do this, follow La Conservera Bcn on Instagram to stay up to date.

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music cures all ills

2025.04.09

A recurring dream of mine for years was to get a tenor sax (after I got the alto in 2008), and maybe, some day a piano…

I got the tenor a little over two years ago, a beautiful piece from Thomann. And as of yesterday, my little music corner is finally complete with my new Donner DD80 Plus.

I can already tell that this thing is going to cure many a low moment. I’m still going to therapy, mind! But life got a little easier, a little more beautiful.

And for that, I’m grateful.

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changing winds

2025.03.20

It’s becoming clearer every day that a change of tack is necessary. So let’s make it happen.

I’m putting comedy on hold for now. My last show was an absolute blast and I’m leaving on this high, until further notice. I’m changing some things about my appearance (which may or may not be an attempt at fending off depression 👀 don’t ask). And I’m gonna be back in earnest to make TCG happen by the end of year.

You don’t complain about the wind, you just adjust the sails.

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there are two types of…

2025.02.21

There’s a saying in aviation that goes “There are two types of pilots, the ones who have crashed, and the ones who will.”

Similarly, in comedy, “There are two types of comedians, the ones who have bombed, and the ones who will.”

And as of yesterday with Show #18, I’m in the former.

It’s an interesting learning experience, to say the least. And as unpleasant as it was, I’m glad I had it before going to Lisbon in two weeks. Gives me an opportunity to plan for contingencies.

We never stop learning.

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bright skies

2025.01.30

What a whirlwind this January was. The clouds seem to clear for the first time in very long, and the future is looking bright as hell. Such an unexpected 180 turn, it makes me dizzy just thinking about it. My heart is full of gratitude and renewed strength. Bring it 2025. 💪☀️

Pictured above, such a pleasure to be back on stage yesterday at the Comedy Clubhouse for Midweek crisis comedy! Set #11 and counting!

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(im)balance

2025.01.05

2024 was probably the most exhilarating and the most difficult year in my entire life. A year of love and heartbreak, a year of stage fright and acclaim, a year of Pride and getting more comfortable in my queer identity…

• I got the semicolon tattoo I’d thought about for years
• I started doing stand up comedy and now have seven shows under my belt (#8 next thursday 9th)
• I got a “Best Audience Member” award at the Barcelona Comedy Awards 2024 (this one cracks me up!)
• I had my ears pierced
• I went out dressed full fem and went to Pride and rode a float
• I go out dressed more fem/less masc and feel more and more comfortable with it every time
• I fell in love with the wrong person despite my best efforts not to, and it caused me the most intense and difficult heartbreak I’ve ever had to go through in my entire life (this is not hyperbole. 2024, you win that fucking crown you bitch).
  • And to my friend, I’m sorry that I couldn’t do better.
• I made absolutely wonderful new friendships and surrounded myself with the most amazing chosen family.

This year, I intend to continue on this path of healing, healing my heart and soul, healing my broken relationship with myself, regaining self-love and acceptance, doing theater, going to more shows and concerts…

2025, you better be different. I no longer hold hope for relationships, or romance, or anything beyond surviving and getting better. 2024 taught me I can only count on myself to do that. The loss I’ve experienced has scarred me for many months to come, but I’ve survived before. I will survive again.

Even if, as Blü Eyes put it, healing fucking hurts sometimes.

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