When the magic continues and you can only surrender and go with the flow…
It’s not often that you could find me at a loss for words, and yet here we are. The new show is becoming a tapestry behind something beautiful and precious, and I am feeling incredibly grateful for this. Some readers will know, others can read between the lines.
This year really is something. I am the light, and the flower, and the blooming seed, and the wind that carries our hopes of spring.
Some days are magical. Sometimes, it happens twice in a row, like last weekend.
Brunch, live baroque music, great weather… Walking around the city’s smaller and bigger streets, turning on a whim, paying no mind to the clock… Simply enjoying the company, enjoying the moment… Lots of hugs and linked arms and holding hands, deep conversations and silly jokes, warm coffees and cozy teas.
The love of beautiful friendships.
Yes, some days bring magic to your life. And it lifts you up like a leaf in the wind. Et la vie est belle.
What a year it’s been. I am filled with gratitude for what has been, and hope for what may come.
May 2026 build on these foundations of love, hope and purpose. For the first time since forever, I am looking forward to what’s next.
There’s this wonderful community called Vocal Core that I feel very lucky and grateful to be a part of, and we sing together and it’s utterly, emotionally beautiful.
And this weekend, we are doing our winter show, called [OAKFIRE]. I was part of it yesterday, however due to other commitments I am missing today’s performances. But I’m there in spirit with all these precious voices that warm my heart and nurture my soul.
This show hits deep for me, tackling loneliness, self-love, feelings of inadequacy, regaining your sense of self and rebuilding yourself, surrounded by community. So much of my life this year was shaped by love and chosen family. It has been a year of lows that gradually morphed into what I can say looking back was a very transformative and positive year. I approach 2026 with my heart full of gratitude, a mix of bittersweet memories that I look at fondly, and moments of powerful affirmation that I wouldn’t have dreamed of a year ago… and above all, hope renewed.
I am facing the new year head on, chin high, defiant and resolute.
I am facing the new year as a new me, born from the ashes of the old. I’m a fucking phoenix, spreading my once broken wings and ready to fly again.
We got this, fam.
Love xo
Chel.
It was my birthday yesterday. A day I typically don’t really approach with any special anticipation.
But yesterday became different.
Yesterday became a celebration of friendship, and love, and gratitude, beyond anything I could ever have expected. Yesterday was a reminder that I am surrounded by beautiful souls who love me, who say it aloud and show it, and it was wonderful and heartwarming and emotional.
Yesterday was a birthday that I will remember for years to come. A day that reminded me that I should listen to my wonderful chosen family, and welcome and embrace their love, instead of listening to my thoughts.
It was a reminder, not just of how people see me, but also of how I see and appreciate them back, and I made sure to tell them as such unequivocally.
I love my tribe. I’m illuminated by their light. Always. ♥️
I’m still grieving stillborn futures
That weren’t meant to be
But this morning I felt the warm sun on my face
And the fresh air in my lungs
And for a fleeting moment
I was grateful 🤍
Yesterday I sang on stage to an audience for the first time since probably what, 1993…? It was nerve-racking, and exhilarating, and joyful and euphoric. Here I am, reclaiming my voice, rewriting my own internal narrative around it, and telling dysphoria to fuck off while I’m having fun.
If you had told me a year ago that I would do this, I would have laughed in your face. The journey truly takes us to parts unknown, and enriches us at every step, and I am carried through it by the love of my friends.
Year To Date… As we near the start of the fourth quarter of 2025 and the anniversaries that go with it (transition, bday…), I’m looking back at 2025, and while it wasn’t great, it was definitely on the good side of things.
Q1 started with a bang that set expectations a teensy bit too high, but that bang also was a major catalyst in kickstarting a real journey towards the light. It was something so unexpected and out of left field, and the timing was bonkers… And while it was an isolated event, the sheer randomness of it helped me tremendously to start putting some of my pain behind.
Q2 was absolutely amazing. From the cruise in April, to theater classes, to a brief fling in June, I met a number of amazing new people and I am forever so grateful for choosing to step out of my comfort zone and be bolder and opening myself to new things. Several of these folk have become very, very dear friends, and I am immensely happy to have them in my life.
And even if it lasted only a month, it was a magical June. ♥️
Q3 went slightly downhill after that emotionally, I have to admit, but on the other hand, I went to Edinburgh to perform at Fringe, which again is bonkers for someone who started comedy barely over a year ago, and I traveled back to Asturias for a week mostly off the grid, and there were beautiful moments and opportunities to grow. And there’s something else going on since September that lightens my heart, but I can’t really talk about it just yet. Well, two things. Well, a few things. But it’s too early.
A hint: Q4 will be quite musically oriented. I plan to finish this year with a bang, remains to be seen if I will, but I can already tell, fingers crossed, that I will finish it in much better shape than last.
And really, that’s all I set out to do when I was sick like a dog on January 1st, thinking this year literally would have nowhere to go but up.
Stay shiny, loves.
xo
Chel
This year is so weird. The good weird. It’s really disarming.
I follow the light, but on the way, the tunnel itself is full of lights.
And I will drown in them like a moth hungry for the sun.
Closing the season with a wonderful evening on the stage of Big Mic Energy, at the Comedy Clubhouse, surrounded by friendship and a blast of a crowd.
In a way, symbolically, this is also closing the door on the past year and moving on. Not that I’m quitting comedy, although I will be winding down my involvement to focus on other projects (*cough* The Commodore’s Gold *cough*), no I mean, the emotional roller-coaster from which it’s taken me so much to recover, the last five months of 2024 that almost got me to my breaking point, and the difficult journey upwards to recover my light, and nurture it, and rebuild my sense of self.
I’m closing the door on the hurt. I’m gently letting all of it go, trying to focus on being grateful for the lessons learned, and turning towards the future, with the hope that it holds better things. I have grown so much in the past 12 months. It was harrowing at times, and there were moments I didn’t know if I would make it. But I’m still here.
I’m still fucking here.
Like Taylor says, “And if you never bleed, you’re never gonna grow. And it’s alright now.”
See you in September, peeps. Peace out.