Ups. Downs. Ebbs. Flows.
Moments in time
of joyful light and deep darkness.
But not once did I look back
And wish I hadn’t leaped.
4 years
2025.11.15pride
2025.07.19Today’s pride was singularly joyful,
In fleeting moments,
In conversations,
In the glint of recognition
Upon seeing one’s flag waved high…
A joy, proud and strong,
In community.
Today we marched to honour our elders.
Those who came before us,
Trailblazers and unknowns…
We marched for our siblings who can’t.
In a world that wants to erase us.
We marched for the children of tomorrow.
So they live their life in dignity and respect.
We are proud, not to taunt the bigots
But to stand for ourselves
To tell each other
“You are safe here”
I am a We
And we are family,
Not through blood,
But through shared experience,
And we stand together
Because our joy, our hope,
Our love, our pride
Will always prevail
Against their darkness
Happy Pride ❤️
summer break
2025.07.16Closing the season with a wonderful evening on the stage of Big Mic Energy, at the Comedy Clubhouse, surrounded by friendship and a blast of a crowd.
In a way, symbolically, this is also closing the door on the past year and moving on. Not that I’m quitting comedy, although I will be winding down my involvement to focus on other projects (*cough* The Commodore’s Gold *cough*), no I mean, the emotional roller-coaster from which it’s taken me so much to recover, the last five months of 2024 that almost got me to my breaking point, and the difficult journey upwards to recover my light, and nurture it, and rebuild my sense of self.
I’m closing the door on the hurt. I’m gently letting all of it go, trying to focus on being grateful for the lessons learned, and turning towards the future, with the hope that it holds better things. I have grown so much in the past 12 months. It was harrowing at times, and there were moments I didn’t know if I would make it. But I’m still here.
I’m still fucking here.
Like Taylor says, “And if you never bleed, you’re never gonna grow. And it’s alright now.”
See you in September, peeps. Peace out.
en castellano por favor
2025.05.29My 25th show last night was also my very first foray into doing a set in Spanish! I won’t deny, I was pretty nervous, and it felt like going up for the first time all over again… but the crowd at La Federica was absolutely amazing, and I had my lovely friends to support me, and it went like a dream! I had a blast. Thank you to Vidda Priego and Manolita La Primera for this wonderful experience!
trans joy
2025.04.23A dear friend of mine snapped the loveliest candid shot of me yesterday and the euphoria is off the chart.
I didn’t transition to be hotter, I transitioned to be happier… But I’ll take both! 🤍🏳️⚧️
TDoV
2025.03.31When I go out
Visibly fem
Visibly queer
I don’t care that you clock me
I don’t do it so you can side-eye and sneer
I don’t do it so you can wonder
what’s in my pants or who I sleep with
I don’t do it to turn your kids gay or trans
I do it for my queer siblings still closeted
I do it for our queer kids who are growing up afraid
in a world hostile to them
I do it so they know that I’m here for them
That I got their back
And there is hope and love and community
Even when the world tells you there isn’t
I’m telling them “you’re safe with me”
And if it bothers you?
Kindly go fuck yourself
And get out of my way
#transdayofvisibility 🏳️⚧️
2025, the year I look like ME
2025.01.18In one of these “invest in yourself” kind of things, back in December I (finally!) booked a makeup class to learn how to do it from a professional.
That class was today. And OH MY GOD.
The gender euphoria is strong with this one! I finally feel like I look like ME. I’m incredibly happy with this and very excited about practicing all the techniques I learned today!
And go visit the wonderful Mari Cornejo’s Instagram, she’s a true gem.
show number 3 was EPIC
2024.12.04
I bought this top from Shein close to six years ago (hey shut up Shein was great for a closeted trans girl trying out things) and until tonight I had never worn it out of the house. And a lot of the compliments I got throughout the evening were about how good it looked on me, which yeah, not disagreeing 😜 💅
But on a seriouser note, another lot of compliments was about my set and I’m so very happy about that. Talking about and sharing my trans experience on stage in a standup comedy setting is a great way for me to feel like I do my part, as small as it is, to bring my community to the light and bring out awareness with laughter and good vibes.
The crowd last night was amazing. All the comedians were brilliant. And the atmosphere was absolutely fucking incredible, full of joy and allyship and love. With everything that’s happening in the world from the US to the UK to France to even Spain now, last night was validating as fuck, not just as a comedian or a transgender woman, but as a human being. And I felt so good today, you guys. So good. After weeks of depression, it’s a breath of fresh air and I needed this, so much.
Thank you AtoMIC Comedy Barcelona for nurturing this safe space for women and LGBTQIA+ comedians in Barcelona ❤️❤️❤️ This AtoMIC baby is very grateful.
Year Three: Completed
2024.11.15
Three years ago today, I started a journey. Who knew a couple of pills could be so daunting? Taking them for the first time was without a doubt the bravest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life.
Two years ago, I told the world. I braced for consequences… and received nothing but love and acceptance. I am very fortunate in this regards. Not all of us have this chance.
And last year, I realised something was missing to go full circle. If 2024 could be summed up in two words, they would be “growing pains“. But if it could be summed up in one word, it would be “growing“.
This year was a year of the lowest lows and the highest highs. It was a year of smashing comfort zones and going farther than ever before. It was a year of firsts, a year of Pride, a year of friendships. A year of recovery too, and healing, and rebuilding foundations.
My heart is full of joy and gratefulness today for all the old and new friends who supported and uplifted me in this journey. One in particular stands out for bringing into my life so much light, and inspiration, and warmth. Thank you dearest I. for your unwavering kindness and your indomitable spirit, and for helping me through the worst days. To count you as my friend is truly a gift, and I am eternally thankful for it.
My gratitude also goes to many more, I can’t list everyone who made a difference, because they all did.
The fourth year begins now. They say struggles prepare you for the great things coming your way. If that’s the case, I can’t wait to see what 2025 is going to bring.
I’m Rachel, and I’m here to fucking stay.
Take care, loves ❤️ We got this.
xo
Chel
💔
2024.08.07I knew what I was getting into when I started. I knew what I would be losing.
But fuck. I didn’t expect it would hurt so godamn much.