Shifting lines in the sand
Of love and intimacy
Ebbing and flowing
Never really settling
Heart lost in idiosyncrasy
Everything ahead a foreign land
An unraveled strand
Of misleading intricacy
I’m blind but tottering
With an inkling
I will find mercy
By your hand
poetry scraps #4
2024.07.15poetry scraps #3
2024.06.18The heartbreaks
The pains
The failures of life
I call them my Kintsugi moments
I pick up the pieces of me
That are broken
Put them back together
Lovingly
And paint the cracks with gold
Its light shimmers
And guides my way forward
Always brighter
ya girl did her first standup! 😄
2024.06.14poetry scraps #2
2023.12.05She hits me
Like a wall of bricks
The weight of a thousand unearned expectations
Drags me down
Into the deep
What is it now, the face, the eyes
The skin, the everything,
And anything in between
The harshest critic
The mother of all bullies
Unwelcome
Yet ever present
In an instant changing
From shadow to red hot pincers
dissecting my soul
She knows me well
This relentless foe
Knows my fears
And secrets
And dreams
For she is me
The darkest me
My dysphoria
poetry scraps
2023.06.12I act like I don’t care
As the insults sting
I act like I don’t care
As you deny my humanity
I act like I don’t care
As you sneer and mock
I act like I don’t care
Because giving you reactions
Would fuel the fire
Because biting back
Is what you expect
Because you prod and provoke
And see me as lesser than you
I act like I don’t care
Swallowing back tears
Knuckles white
Showing nothing of the rage inside
I act like I don’t care
To deny you this satisfaction
But I do
And while your hate hurts
It hurts a thousand times more
That in my weakest moments
I believe you
TUW update
2023.03.30After careful consideration and much back and forth, I decided to pull the plug on the TUW trilogy, indefinitely.
In spite of a new outline and fresh start, I’m struggling with the writing/rewriting and I’ve also come to think that, given how science and sci-fi concepts have evolved in the past decades, and how real-world politics have as well to a certain extent, several aspects of the story would no longer work for a modern release. In the end, there is so much to change or update that it would cause the story to lose many of the plot elements I envisioned, notably a critical event in the second book that was the main inciting incident for the third.
I’m not abandoning this universe just yet. I might revisit it with short stories, or a different story, or aspects of TUW from another POV… But after close to 30 years, maybe it’s time to realize that maybe this story, at all the different stages from 1994 to 2001 to 2008 to today, was only meant to be a training stage, and nothing more.
March being what it was (i.e. a bitch), there’s also that besides the issues with TUW itself, I feel that I simply tried to do too much too quick. Between work, family stuff, my transition, the news… I’ll be taking a break from writing altogether for the next few weeks. I need to center myself and see where I’m at, and tackle the next project with mindfulness and clarity.
Chel
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
2023.01.26Website relaunched! (and other updates)
2023.01.21I finally got around to updating http://www.rachelrelat.net/ and everything is now back online as it was before, with new Amazon links for the two Ascalon books and the Planes of Ascalon companion booklets that go with them…
I kept the promo images as they were, only updating the cover images, despite the fact that the quoted reviews are now unavailable. It’s quite a disappointment that I had to lose them, to tell the truth, and I hope potential readers won’t judge me for clinging to them, given the lack of new ones to replace them. And if they do, well… C’est la vie.
In other news, January’s been pretty quiet, but production is ramping up on the sci-fi front, the plan is still to have the first draft of The Uncertain War completed by end of year. Plan for the French translation of TDR being published by summer is also nicely back on track.
Victory! (and other updates)
2022.12.25The Ascalon paperbacks are live again at last on Amazon! Thanks for the xmas gift KDP!
With this update now complete, I will now restore the corresponding pages here as well as the Planes of Ascalon companion pieces in the downloads section.
As for future works, 2022 having been the annus horribilis that it was, all my timelines have shifted more or less a year. Next year right now is looking to be pretty much entirely focused on sci-fi, as I really want to complete the first draft of TUW and send it for editing before the year is out, for a revised target publication date of 2024. I’m pushing The Commodore’s Gold a bit farther down the line as a result; however, French Ascalon fans rejoice, as the French translation of The Dragon Run will hit the shelves some time this year, probably in time for the summer holidays.
loading…
2022.12.07Done! Ebooks are resubmitted and paperback proofs are underway. If everything checks out, I could have all versions back on sale like before as soon as next week. Stay tuned!